Being an adult isn’t easy. You have bills to pay. You have to go to work. You have to deal with every little stupid thing life throws your way. But one of the hardest things to do as an adult might not be something you would expect:
Learning to love yourself.
And I’m not talking in a narcissistic ego-maniac type of way. I mean in the sense that you’re comfortable in your own skin. It might seem obvious to people out there reading this, but you’d be surprised how many people truly don’t know how to do it. There are those that think they know how, but really all they’re doing is hiding the insecurities beneath a mask.
It’s not the type of thing you learn right away. Oh no…it’s the type of thing that takes you right through hell and back again. It’s the type of thing that puts you through the wringer. But sometimes it takes your darkest hour to realize where the light shines.
Some never figure it out. And those are usually the ones who take their own lives.
I’ve had my fair share of rough patches in the last few years. It never got to the point that it has for some out there, but there was a decent amount of self-loathing involved. And the thing is, I didn’t really come to an understanding on it until fairly recently.
I wrote last year about how I got to the point where I really burned out on writing. And it took nearly another year before I realized that I took it as me somehow being a failure, rather than just a natural part of life. Because that’s the thing: oftentimes self-loathing magnifies the insignificant things, making them seem like world-ending catastrophes.
But facing your worst self is what helps you become your best self.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings don’t matter. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your problems don’t matter because other people have it worse. That’s bullshit. Your feelings matter. Your problems matter. You matter. If you can’t take care of yourself, then how are you going to make the world a better place?
This isn’t about ego-soothing. It’s not about being self-aggrandizing. It’s about waking up in the morning, being able to look at yourself in the mirror, and say “hey you…you look good. You’re doing good. And you are good.”
Thanks for reading. Check back on the third Wednesday of next month for another post, and as always, have a wonderful month.