Random Questionnaire Finale: The Explosive Conclusion

It’s come.  It has finally…come.

You may remember that a while back I did a silly little game for a post (and then again a couple of weeks later).  The basic gist of it is this: I use a random number generator to come up with five different numbers.  I take these numbers and apply them to a book I have that is full of different questions.  Some of them are simple.  Some of them are mentally stimulating.

But mostly, they’re pretty stupid.

So the numbers I have this time are 123, 27, 201, 66, and 155.  Let’s do this.

 

123. When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you?

Well I’m sitting here actually writing out an answer to this crap, so obviously it doesn’t bother me that much.

 

27. If God appeared to you in a series of vivid and moving dreams and told you to leave everything behind, travel alone to the Red Sea and become a fisherman, what would you do?  What if you were told to sacrifice your child?

Oh great, now I get to make everyone super pissed at me.  Thanks book!

As many of you who follow my blog know, I am not religious.  I was never raised religious, but I have no problem with people who believe (I used to…back in my high school days I was all angry and bitter about it).  I just simply never found a reason to, and my parents did the best they could to condition me neither for or against religion.

There’s this weird conception of non-religious parents as raising their kids to hate all religions.  Basically, if you’re not for our god, you’re against our god is their line of reasoning.

I can imagine what they think non-religious parents are like, hobgoblin creatures who live in some cave somewhere.  They’re hunched over, miserable looking creatures who stare at their children, crowded into giant test tubes.  Wires and electrodes are attached to their heads, feeding them images and molding their brains into the form they desire.  An IV is inserted directly into their arms that feeds them a solution of pure hate.

“Yes, YES,” they say, “soon our children will hate religion as much as WE DO!  MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!”

Man…those people are weird.

But I digress.  If God himself appeared to me in a dream and told me to do all these things, I probably wouldn’t take it at face value.  I’d probably just disregard it as a weird dream I was having and ignore it until the inevitable rain of frogs onto my apartment building.

As for the sacrificing your child thing…I’d probably just accuse him of being unoriginal.  I mean, come on.  He’s God.  He can afford to be a little creative.

 

201. Do you frequently find yourself — just to be polite — saying things you don’t mean?  For example, when you say goodbye to someone who does not interest you, do you act as though you enjoyed their company?

Man, I’ll be sad to see you go book.  You asked really stimulating question and were totally not full of complete and utter nonsense that made me waste my time writing stupid answers to even more stupid questions that had no realistic bearing on ANYTHING AT ALL!

In all seriousness though, I’ve heard that there is a psychological imperative to these kinds of “white lies”, those little fibs you tell in your daily life.  I’ve heard it argued that white lies are necessary for humans to function, that they need to tell them every once in a while to maintain relationships.  Instead of telling someone you just don’t want to hang out with them right now, you might say that you’re busy or that you’re not feeling good.  I would wager that most of you reading, if not all of you, have done this at some point in your life.

So no, I wouldn’t say I frequently do this.  But I have done it before, mainly because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings for no reason.  I don’t go out of my way to seem like I enjoyed their company or anything, but at the same time I don’t want to seem mean.

It’s one of those things where sometimes avoiding a confrontation is the better route.  Best to avoid causing unnecessary drama.

 

66. Do you feel that advice from older people carries a special weight because of their greater experience?

…I feel like this question is a loaded one.  “Greater experience”…what exactly are you implying there book?

This seems like one of those old stereotypes that just never really dies.  The wise, old elder who sits down on their rocking chair and imparts their knowledge to the younger generation.  A lot of times it tends to be true.  Older people have had more time to accumulate experiences and knowledge than younger generations (obviously), so their perspectives on life have been shaped by all of this.  They have a lot to say, and some of it is incredibly interesting.  They are, after all, our only living link to the past.

But then there are those crotchety old people.  You know, the ones who balk at inter-racial marriages and find it crazy that there’s a black man in the White House….yeah they’re probably not the best people to go to for advice.  Just saying.

So while I feel that it is true to some extent, I don’t think it should be a type of thing that we hold up as prophetic.  And there are a lot of people out there who do just that.

 

155. Would you be willing to make a substantial sacrifice to have any of the following: your picture on a postage stamp, your statue in a park, a college named after you, a Nobel prize, a national holiday in your honor?

So this is it, the final question.  All roads have led to here.  The number has been drawn, the words written.  Time slows down, and the world awaits the inevitable answer…

And the book decides to ask me if I’m a narcissistic fiend.  Great…because THAT’S a fitting final question isn’t it?  Where’s the God question again?  That was a cool one.

The answer is no, I would not care to have any of those things.  Award and recognition are but hollow things to me, substitutes for the more fulfilling things in life.  I want to be a writer, and honestly, I don’t care if people give me awards or not.  I don’t care if people even recognize me as I walk down the street.  All I want is to find my footing and make a living doing something I love.  If I can manage that, than anything else that comes from it is just icing.

And besides, what does it mean when it says “substantial sacrifice”?  It’s not very clear on that.  I don’t know if I’m being asked to give money or a part of my body.

Maybe they want me to sacrifice my child, just like in that other question.  Wait a minute……….

……my god.

Please press button for dramatic effect.

 

Well that’s all I got this week.  This is the final time I’m going to do one of these.  I meant to do it a while back, but I decided to wait on it because I felt that if I did three of them in a row basically, people would get sick of it.

Thanks for reading.  Tune in next Wednesday for another post, and as always, have a wonderful week.

 

 

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